My Big Fat Malay Wedding

September 2011, my son aliq announced that he is ready to get married and surprise, surprise he already has a girlfriend and could I please persuade the father to consent to his choice of the bride and to the marriage itself. Next question, who is the girl?, who are her family etc, etc, etc.

liq and I at his graduation 2009

As it happens my daughter had a new baby and my son brought his girl home for the cukur jambul ceremony held for the new baby. Sapinah is a lovely girl, shy at first but soon warmed up to the family. I was happy with my son’s choice but of course the father had initial doubts but which was soon overcomed. He agreed to the marriage provided that my son could finish building his resort in Tanah Merah which will be used for the wedding. My son being deeply in love happily agreed not knowing the huge undertaking that he had taken up.

November, during Aidil Adha holidays, I and my family went to ask for Sapina and liq to be engaged from her mother. After a simple and short discussion between me and her mother, I put on a diamond ring on her finger and Sapina became my son’s fiancé. We agreed that the wedding be held in March 2012 and happily told her mother to trust me and my husband to arrange for the wedding. Now my work is just starting and little did I know that what started as a simple engagement with less than 20 guests attending will snowball to a Big Fat Malay Wedding.

December, we had ordered the wedding dresses, a white lace baju for the akad, a yellow lace for the bersanding, a grey chiffon for the menyambut menantu, etc and  I started planning.

Plan A; akad nikah or solemnization of marriage vows and kenduri or wedding feast to be held at brides’ home followed by a welcoming of  daughter in law feast at our home .

Plan B; the wedding be held at our newly built resort in Tanah Merah, followed by a feast at our Pasir Tumbuh home.

Plan C; was formed and previous plans were scrapped. Now we will have the akad attended by only close family members, followed by a wedding feast for family and friends and guests for both the bride’s and our family , all to be held on same day at our yet to be completed Resort which will be named Putera Valley Hotel and Resort, Tanah Merah , on the 17^th March 2012.

I later ended up with several plans all the way to plan Z!!!

Of course November and December were very wet and construction works on the hotels were held up, and what once was a beautiful green lawn became soggy and muddy and the wedding was to be held in the open in the vast garden. But we persevered and over the New Year I went to China to purchase tents and other hotel equipment that was to be ready by mid-February, in time for the wedding. Of course the tents were not ready on time and to date we are still waiting for it but at least the beds and chairs arrived just before the event.

January came and it was still pouring with rain and I was ready to think of plan D- G!, Anyhow we ordered the invitation cards, 2000 pieces, at first, but there were requests for more and we added 2000 and later 2000. Finally we told our family members and friends to invite just everybody who knew us and wanted to come to the wedding. Plan H has to be formed as now as the wedding party had quickly escalated into a huge feast involving more than 10000 guests, by now I had stop planning and simply went along with the flow. 

I tried to plan  the actual event, a simple akad nikah at 11 am, attended by our and bride’s close family members followed by lunch, and kenduri or feast for all the invited guests. But my son and husband had other ideas. My son wanted a procession for the wedding which included the bridal couple riding an elephant or two!!! He insisted that it was his dream to have elephants for his wedding procession, talk about a big dream, it cannot  get any bigger than that.

 So I consented to the elephants, now my husband says elephants must be accompanied by honour guards 100 strong dressed as olden warriors of Kelantan in sarongs and semutar, a kind of headgear carrying flag banners instead of spears. Later he added a bevy of maidens and ladies showering confetti of bunga rampai to be in the procession. It became my job to get all the sarongs , semutar, and materials for the procession.

Warriors or hullubalang melayu ,walking proudly.

Pretty maidens

 So out comes the C card and shopping that used to be a pleasure now become a chore and need précised planning to ensure that no time is wasted. After several shopping trips and car laden with clothes and materials I am almost done.

New head gear for the elephant 

Elephants must have a new set of covering for head and back, said my beloved son. So another shopping spree and out comes the trusty sewing machine and after a back breaking session, it is also ready. What now?

Elephant decked out in new fineries.

Father of the Groom, my beloved or FOG for short, announced furniture ordered will be delayed and he wanted an antique look bridal chamber using our four poster bed and its matching set, can I please make it up to look grand and beautiful as only I can do!!!! Huh? Again off to do more shopping and more sewing. But I admit FOG is right and the bridal chamber is nice once the old bed is dressed and laid with gold coloured bed covers.

the bridal suite

Must log off now, more to come.