A friend ask me to comment on the latest issue that had raised a huge outcry especially among the woman’s groups, mainly The Obedient Wives Club and the advice given by the deputy president of the club. The is formed by members of the now banned Al Arqam, so it is not surprising to hear of the controversial objectives of the club, that is a woman’s sole duty is to please her husband and to do so by emulating a high class prostitute.
Al Arqam was a religious sect that promotes communal living and polygamy is openly practiced and most of the men have many wives and strangely enough all the wives live happily together. So it is not surprising that they set up such a club. There is nothing wrong to be an ‘obedient’ wife, after all part of the marriage vows include to ‘ obey and honour ‘ clause. However in doing so a woman do not have to behave as a practicioner of the oldest profession. This is an insult to all wives as marriage is not about pleasing the husband but it is partnership based on love not lust, although a bit of lust for each other can be exciting and enriching. Love for each other is increased when there is mutual respect and trust. The couple should understand each other’s needs and feelings, and try to fulfil them.
After all that is said and done, marriage is a sacred institution, entered by mutual love and consent. It has to be nurtured and the couple should strive together to ensure that their marriage is always be enduring. They should always be lovers first, their love should always be of foremost importance, it must be worked at so that the love increases with time not otherwise. They must be the best of friends, as friends help each other and bolster each other’s ego. They share ideas thoughts and ideals. They must be work partners, either outside or in the home, helping to ease each other’s burdens. They must understand and be understanding enough to give the other person some space and privacy even if they do almost everything as a couple.
A wife should try to look beautiful for her husband but not be a slut. Of course it would be a huge turn off to see a wife in tattered , baggy clothes and smelling bad. So wives should attempt to look good and smell nice for their husband and to be a bit sexy in bed will be appreciated. Of course a husband also should dress up for their wife or at least be clean and not stinky.
In all relationship, it is a two way situation, where there is giving and taking and reciprocating the other partner. It is not only up to the wife to ensure the marriage’s survival, but the husband role is equally important. The wife’s role is to make a house a home and the husband to be the provider, however now both roles are merged as most wives work as hard as the husband so they both share the burden of housework.
But if the husband wants a prostitute he should pay for it either in the sanctity of marriage or outside. If a man treat his wife as a prostitute he may really end with one. And if he wants a prostitute, no amount of work by the wife will change him. So give him his freedom to chase the prostitute, you will be better off without that kind of husband.
So again to the founders of The Obedient Wives Club, especially to Dr Rohaya, shame on you, you are a disgrace to all the women. You may practice polygamy, or be whatever you want to be but do not suggest to all decent wives that they need to be like a prostitute to keep their man. You also insult all the normal decent man as I know they don’t need a prostitute to happy and satisfied. I know as I am married to such a man and as do all the women that I know of.
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